Fly or Die`

[D. Josey]

...

[Soule]

Nice peice, nice peice. I liked the wordplay that was being used. It was very mature. The creativrty was ok yes the structre was basic which is good to me cuz that makes it a easy read. The imagenary was good it pictured a small movie in my head. The flow went very well through this whole peice which is good to do. And the rhyme skeme was nice which is hard to do now-a-days. The story plot was great. 9-10. Keep writing.

~LeX

[D. Josey]

Dude, there was no rhyme scheme.

[Witty]

lmao @ rhyme scheme

I really liked this peice dude, it had everything I like to see in a poem. it had amazing emotion, that is what really stuck out to me the most. Everything here was just sooooo descriptive and amazingly easy to read, I liked the way it didn't rhyme, I think that helped this peice. I don't usually get interested in peices that don't rhyme, I find that they are sometimes boring, but that was certainly not the case with this peice, it was a beautiful peice if that doesn't sound too gay lol, the concept was also amazing,I have been told that I am good with concepts, but I doubt i would ever have been able to come up with something like this, I really liked this peice dude, and I think I'm going to nominate it for PSHOF when the nomination thread come up for this month (is it already up?). I also loved the vocab in this peice, it was complex but not too complex, it was just right in my opinion, you have a real way with words, and I cant' wait to read more peices from you, keep at it dude.I'll definitely be on the look out for any new peices that you post up, props.

[phlymo]

uhh, ok. ^not really sure what these guys are on about. emotion? where? was this supposed to be emotional? as far as i could gather it was simply about getting high. ok maybe ecstasy as an emotion, but this wasn't depicted emotionally, just as some crazy trailblazing (invented something new in the sky?). the vocab was pretty damn random and unnecessary. rotundas? apogees? paradox bleach belief? prolific stiffness lol? sorry but aside from a potential underlying story of getting high there was very little in this piece. truth be toldit read like one of those pieces people write to see if people praise it because they don't understand it's obscurity. if this was meant to be serious, then it is simplistic stuff dressed up with no lasting impact or message, and the ending was insanely cheesy.

[Chris Black]

I felt that the vocab distracted from the piece more than added. There just seemed to be a lot of words that no one would ever use in a sentence, stuffed in there. It would have been so much better without that.

[Rah Gwahn]

Basically using big complicated words to try and make it sound good.

Think that sometimes a good poem depends on the language involved and sometimes it depends heavily on how well the language is used.

[Atti]

I'm not going to lie, I was completely lost with this piece. I was just kind of dragging along the vocabulary looking for clues as to what was going on, and hit that stallion and I thought you meant Joseph Stallon, but I just continued to fall further in the rabbit hole. Lol, I find it funny that I have no clue what was happening yet Leximus seemed to be right there with you *smh* But ya, sorry man. If you want to drop some clues or something I'll check it out and then go back and read and see if I can follow but as of now its just a lump of matter that sounds and looks pretty. Just aside from superficial value I had trouble finding it.

If you would be so kind,
Pioneer, the Stereo Type