i voted this in legends. easily one of the best pieces i've ever read bounce. major props.
i voted this in legends. easily one of the best pieces i've ever read bounce. major props.
Thank you sir, I'm working on recording this, so if all goes well I'll get the time soon.
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"World Class War" Official Music Video
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need more eyes on this
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"World Class War" Official Music Video
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a mist of fiery dreams
you also used the word absinth twice, and to me it seems slightly akward when you use a big... not big, but larger word without a synonym (lol at my criticism)
was the only thing i could find slightly wrong in this... because it slightly messed up the flow.. which was basically incredible....
i cant say anything that hasnt already been said.. great diction, not too over the top... great imagery, the flow just was like a stamped didnt slow.... emotion imagery... the knowledge of the topic.. great piece
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I'm trying to understand you here, help me out?
I used a large word without a synonym? Explain that to me... Because a synonym is just another word that means the same as another. So, I;m kind of lost and would liek to knwo what you ae getting at here.
lol at using absinthe twice, since it was a focual point of the peice.. but really, let's talk about this, I am curious as to0 what you are seeing. I inivite such things in my threads.
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Iunno, maybe this is just me....
For instance... high-vocab piece
retriangulate the absinthe and desecrate the recalcitrance
devoid of apthatic vortex the Stxy flux tossed the absinthe in
It just seems weird to me..
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Ok, so my use of absinthe twice is what seems weird to you? I understand in the example you posted above, but in my peice the word absinthe is used in the opening, then not again until quite a ways down. I mean there's several lines of seperation, and in either case they were not used in the rhyme scheme. So, I don't see the comparison to the lines you posted above. If you notice the last time I used absinthe, the meter changes in the very next measure. The progression of rhyme changes with it, so the delivery of the peace will be picked up at that point, as it transition in audio. It's a poetic fluency technique I use when varing the meter in my verse, it adds a balance to the transition instead of an awkward pause before an increase in tempo. I might be misinterpiting you here, but I'm trying to figure it out. more often than not, if there is a count issue in one of the verses I write for audio, I tend to compensate with a devation in delivery. It allows me to keep the editing to a minimum and still gives me the flexibilty I need in the booth while trying to work out a verse. I don;t know too many people who can take a written verse and spit it word for word in the booth right off the bat. Most the time there are minor tweaks and changes right up until the verse is locked down. I mean that is kind of over analyzing on my part, but if you are getting at something along these lines, you have a better grasp on this than most. I'm kind of suprised to see that actually...
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your right about that..absinthe is used in the opening, then not again until quite a ways down
I was probobly just trying so hard to critique this, since I dont really like to admit that a piece is always perfect, but in this case.. the piece had very very very little flaws.. if more than one..
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I been trying to find pieces, that will motivate me into dropping here again, and I believe I might have found one. I loved how you captured the essence of what it is to be an artist and to love hip hop. Vocab was top-notch, structure was on-point to match the killer flow you had, and you described your lyrics very well, to where I could imagine it in my mind. Good job, I'll be looking out.
Originally Posted by Omega.
yo bounce....im still waiting my dude.
Insane Joker Lyricists
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thanks all
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lmao, most the replies are my own...
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'post TV era, where air raids on Xbox raise kids like stairways'
'that leave a crowd screaming in want, an energy beaming in jaunts
like vibrant trips, where you long to kiss souls w/ Aunt Jemima lips'
Nice peice. It was very deceroated that made a regularly long read rather interesting, along the same lines as my peice and again executed nice. I wouldn't of wrote my peice if i read this first, i was tryna show kids how to execute the ropes of hip hop based peices, but obviously you did that here. Very nice, and you posted first so you got the nommy ;-) lol, the flow was good but could of been better, some internals and multis would of made this a 10/10
overall - 9/10
Dope shit my nigga.
peep me and mistrals collab ;-p
You know I loved this.. & I'll edit with my essay tonight.
For now, check your SS QF battle my friend.
Dope ass read, fucker ;-)
ArtificialIntelligence
Sacred Scriptures Champ: 2006.....Brixton
internals and multies? reread this bruh, the sceme is centered around it's internals and assonance (multies)... lolOriginally Posted by Vylint
*scratches head*
But it's all love for peeping
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"World Class War" Official Music Video
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