"Crucifixion of the Paper Tiger"

[Atti]

A fragile silhouette slipped
on something a little more comfortable-
blanch silk wrapped in navy noose:
this eulogy is beautiful.

She lusts the touch,
the stain I spill across her limbs;
I'll tell her everything she wants to hear-
because I wrote the book on us.

This is love
with dashed guidelines,
margins, and pencil perfect nothings.

My cursive serenade.
This song makes better braille-
but she knows that more than anyone.
My little anything I want,
welcomed to fold.

I'd like to think
us more than origami makeshift:
duct tape & staple, main of paperclip.

I loved her on dawn of inkblot,
and through the lost quotation-
but this question mark you wear
is no enigma.

Beneath the misanthrope
your paper mashea quivers;
dampened by your own metaphor,
you risk womb for slight of hand.

You have no spine and for that
I'll hold you closer-
as your conclusion finishes i: our stigmata divine-
crucifixion of the paper tiger;
I am your pleasantry vindicated
in lacerate: ϯ.

We are artificial-
answered blanks surrounded
by the quills forgotten question.

I'll hold these paper cuts to my heart
short a postage mark.

Untold in ink so sincerely-
I loved the lack of right
in this love that I never chose to write.

[Atti]

... up

["lil Neefy"]

more good work to add to the list for/from you dude. Well, if we wouldn't have talked on AIM, I would have taken the message to this piece in a totally different direction. I really enjoyed extended metaphor to this whole piece, from beginning to end, you show different views of things that run through an authors head, or atleast one that is bipolar at times (=P).

"She lusts the touch,
the stain I spill across her limbs;
I'll tell her everything she wants to hear-
because I wrote the book on us."

I'm not one to go and quote part of a piece too much anymore, but this stanza really stood out to me. Maybe because this began to paint the picture for what I had originally thought the meaning to this was.. though I had gone for something that you hadn't really intended, this stanza was still strong.

You still are the most unpredictable writer I know, and for that I give you respect bro. I always know I won't be disappointed even if I don't get the point to your piece when I read it, which is what allows me to enjoy the work so much.

Keep writing dude, even if you do go into a "posting absence" for a while.

[P. Mortuus]

This was some intellectual sounding ish lol...but yeah i have no idea what your takes on this are but for me parts of it were just literal and other parts about society and how spineless, epmty and blank people are filled in by the colours of thier environment, a bit like a chameleon. Most likely your view was different but that's the beaty of poem, for everyone they are usually different. Anyway back to the piece, i reckon that technicaly it was very clean and fluid..not a complex type atticus piece but more a clean and type piece that easily tips off the tounge and encompasses the usual ingredients of imagery which are evident in your pieces. So overall, i reckon you can tell i liked it, i found this piece to have a charm of it's own very nice..Stay up^

Headphones poem.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=315730

[xoit]

So I decided to read all of you other pieces before reading this one, and i must say, this is probally one of your best. You write well complex pieces, but this one was more transparent in a way. In other words, it was clean and pretty easy to understand. The imagery and vocab was very intellectual. Didnt see anything forced in. Not bad.

"Beneath the misanthrope
your paper mashea quivers;
dampened by your own metaphor,
you risk womb for slight of hand."

Fav lines.

Keep writing...

[Atti]

Thanks for taking the time guys.

[D. Josey]

yup, yup. I read this stuff in Intricate, and people didn't look deep enough into this piece. It was pretty deep man, just basic from you but like a Mindless approach with just a serene approach to things. Dope stuff, though man. Nice.

[Spoken]

nice man real clean and smooth yet emotional and real deep in emotion man...i really liked this piece cus of the metaphors u executed with the emotion and vocab intertwined with it was justa nice fit into things atti man really i dont need to say much but WOW...and GREAT...is all you need cus your art speaks for itself!.. keep dropping man...

[Atti]

Thanks a lot everyone.

[gémeaux]

I'm really impressed by this. Usually I have something to say in critism, but every part of this (besides the miss spelling of paper maché) is super. I've never seen anyone carry on an extended metaphor so seemlessly. Nice.

[Infinite Intelligence]

pretty heartfelt bra, not your best but i see your styles changed since i last saw. nothing really left to assume in this peice, enjoyable but a little of a shock with the inconsistancy, your flow of words messed up a little at the breaks but i still always like your shit. good job overall though man.

btw, im on my freinds comp so dont bother getting at me on aim, but i will be back soon trust me.

[Atti]

Yeah, It's never my best...

[K-OptiK]

Wow, a really nice little eye opener for me, I loved the whole lexical field of paper and ink, it illustrated to me the fragility of human decision. I don't know if I took from this what you intended, but I finished reading feeling relieved and at peace with myself. The idea I played upon was that of the openess of the imagination, contrasted near-perfectly with the restrictions of human ability, the paper tiger for me was a representation of creation, the persona built exactly what he wanted to in the medium of paper, but he could not choose his path in reality, I had the feeling he could only reach so far, control so much, the rest was left to fate. I'm probably wandering off on a mega tangeant here but thats just what I took from this. A great writer can evoke emotion and questions in the mind of the most diverse readers and thats what I believe this piece shows of you, you are an extremely capable writer, given that this is the only piece of yours I've read.
It was an enjoyable read which left my head buzzing with unanswered questions, a very philosophical piece, theres not alot I can criticise about it to be perfectly honest. I would however love to discover your inspiration for this piece, and the idea behind it as you decided to portray it. That would be interesting.

I will definately be looking out for you in the future. I would really appriciate it if you could find the time to reply to my piece, entitled 'Two Brothers', keep the board alive!