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Thread: Suicidal Dive

  1. #1
    Echo
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    Suicidal Dive

    replied to

    Bigg E Z
    Gangsta One
    rule


    I like to sit in my own silence and think sometimes
    and it takes all night to come up with a fuckn' idea
    So I reflect on my life and my joys and my cries
    I regret my suicidal dive
    and I pray that God forgives me tonight
    I didn't mean to try to take my own life
    What's a few slits on the wrists in my bullies eyes?


    p.s. don't just tell me i need help. i already know that. hehe

  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    This really isn't a real drop
    Its to short...
    Need to make it longer
    UP the wordplay
    And try to make us
    Imagine what your sayin


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  3. #3
    Newbie !ll~L!teRatE's Avatar
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    lol lok... i like the feeling thats always nice, but first off its kinda short... id try to go at least 10 lines. However i cant realy see much of a rhyming scheme goin on here... i think you should work on that a bit... my 2 cents...
    Hasta~
    Jus Ma 2 Cents~

  4. #4
    Banned
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    Yeah this was ok....but you should make your Drops longer than that so we can give you better feedback, like literate said atleast 10 most likely....you should try to use some multies though...but keep at it.

  5. #5
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    ..????...What was the point of this...LOL!!!...

  6. #6
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    More feedback please. Leave a link or the name of your shit and I will give you feedback.

  7. #7
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    what ya want more feed for...its all been said...lol...but no .. what was there seemed ok, but ya cant really judge when its so short...lengthen them...pZ
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  8. #8
    Newbie Rural Thug's Avatar
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    too short again man, needs to become more complex and longer to show your true meaning through this drop
    Rural

    Like the french say...todays MERCredi!

  9. #9
    Echo
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    uppin for feedback------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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