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Thread: ClaustrophobicS Present: "Less Fortunate"

  1. #1
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    ClaustrophobicS Present: "Less Fortunate"

    She Was Treated Differently,.. She Wasn't Beautiful..
    She Had Greeted Misery.. Her Thoughts Were Mutual..
    Mis-Treated; Ignored.. More Often Than Not..
    Believe To Be Poor.. Sores Washed In Her Spot..


    .. Living With What She Didn't Have..

    Friends Were Seldom.. Though She Tried..
    Again They'd Tell Them.. Though They Lied..
    Poor And Young.. Resented By Many..
    More Than Some.. Tormented By Plenty..
    Presented Herself.. As Best She Could..
    Bent In For Help.. W. The Mess She Was..
    Wish She Could Change.. The Life She Lived..
    N' Wished The Same.. For The Likes She Hid..
    Fell In Love.. But It Didn't Fall Back..
    Tell To Some.. Not At Like That..
    Crush That Burned.. He Doesn't Care..
    Love She Yearned.. Wasn't There..
    Asked The Guy.. Fool, But Had To Be Sure..
    Eyes That Cried.. For The School That Laughed At Her..
    The Hate She Brew.. Stormed Extreme..
    The Fate She Knew.. Born Difformities..
    Revenge She Wanted.. She Couldn't Get..
    Tends To Silence.. She Didn't Know Yet..

    .. Taking A Stand ..

    Searched For Materials.. Their Were Alot Of These..
    Birthed A Miracle.. With Simple Commodities..
    School Wouldn't Be The Same.. This She Was Sure..
    Foor Wasn't Her Name.. Or Things That Were Heard..
    Mind Was Set.. Love For The Man, She Got Burned Down..
    Time To Let.. Him See How She Turned Out..
    Faces That Stared.. Smirked Her Lips..
    Places She Cared.. Didn't Hurt To Fit..
    The Time Came.. The Man Stood Up n' Stopped..
    His Mind Blank.. Her, Or Wasn't It Not..
    Hallways Gazed.. Nervous, He Spoke..
    Always Amazed.. Deserved To Know..
    Confidence In his Look.. Assurance In His Eyes..
    Stopped What He Took.. When He Heard Her Decline..

    She Looked For Truth.. n' Left More Of It..
    She Stood For Youth.. n' All Less Fortunate



    Dropped On..

    Word Perfect - The Ultimate Competition
    Trip Marxx - Hate
    Obsenity - Renegade (remix)
    Last edited by Auspicious; November 7th, 2003 at 03:08 PM
    Artificial Intelligence.

  2. #2
    NONCENTZ AKA WORD~PERFECT noncentz's Avatar
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    flawless from content topic delivery and graphicness i loved it
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..

  3. #3
    Formula
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    Dope drop man. You stayed on the topic and the story you told was ill. Honestly Don't see nothin wrong with it.

    Hallways Gazed.. Nervous, He Spoke..
    Always Amazed.. Deserved To Know..
    Confidence In his Look.. Assurance In His Eyes..
    Stopped What He Took.. When He Heard Her Decline..
    ^^ That was def dope.

    Keep droppin cuz.

    -Formula.

    ** Return the favor N drop some feedback to my open mic when I get it up. . . Greatly Appreciated **

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    Ight Fo Show..
    Any More ?
    Artificial Intelligence.

  5. #5
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    i agree with all these fuckaz, you are just ill

  6. #6
    Pot 'Ed pot1ent's Avatar
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    okay. .

    Nice piece bud. .Props

    The content was sick, trully off the hook, the flow was solid throughtout but I have to say it was a lil basic, but that wasn't a flaw in this piece though, but it would have made it better to have more inners & have put in multis, the idea was great. .

    Pz
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

    <center>The Faculty</center>

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  8. #8
    /:Ayura:\
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    it would have made it better to have more inners & have put in multis
    is po1ent blind?

    Everyline had a multi in it. some tight work there, you came out siiiiiiiick.


    Hallways Gazed.. Nervous, He Spoke..
    Always Amazed.. Deserved To Know..
    Confidence In his Look.. Assurance In His Eyes..
    Stopped What He Took.. When He Heard Her Decline..

    She Looked For Truth.. n' Left More Of It..
    She Stood For Youth.. n' All Less Fortunate
    This ill, you mos def came out good on this peice, and the imagery was shown hard through your multis. Although i thought this was more poetry then open mic

  9. #9
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    And Yet Very Close To Sureals Style
    Auspicious Got Mad Skill I Swear To God
    Props To Ya Homie
    I'll Be Lookin For More


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  10. #10
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  11. #11
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  12. #12
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  13. #13
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  14. #14
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    i have to agree this was another ill drop my u, liked the concept, structure, flow vocab, it all went together tight as fuck.....yeah nice one dawg...pc
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  15. #15
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    Thanks Bro
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