tha newone

**SOUTHERN RIPPA** · December 4th, 2003, 09:11 PM

the new one has come/time to kill the junk/stick em all i da trunck/
yo i got mad skillz/ma puches like needles on powea drillz/im tha type dats rarea dan a 3 dalla bill/i get at mc's wit crazy flowz/when i battle an MC they become tha avrege JOE/
mabe i aint tha best/but i highly dought it/i kill these mc's than mount it/i throw so much rymes at u make yo head spin/i hit u so hard instead of hands i make em fins/all tha time i see posaz/walkin down ma street/i wanna hit wit a drive by just swipe em off day feet/

**Mistral** · December 5th, 2003, 01:59 PM

You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get closed/deleted..

But this was ok....you need to work on your structure though a lot, Trying maybe your lines around the same length so its structured good and dont put it in paragraph form...your flow was ok, you should add some multies and internals to help that out...overall this was ok, just elevate....keep at it.

**Endeva.** · December 6th, 2003, 09:51 PM

i have to say this was wak......sounded like childs play........the way you rhymed ya words not good.....change it and elevate....sorry if it seems harsh but....pZ