No Voice

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...38#post2085038

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171732

People always object to the government and presidency
Always complaining why can't they see
The only way to change things is through your voice
To calm down all the chaos and the noise
So stop complaining about all the stupid wars
Voting is your duty, the new president comes in fours
Make your decisision right here, now today
Don't you abuse when you have the right to say...

What's the matter with people they have freedom
Democracy is everybody's kingdom
A place where you do what ever you want to do
This is the only way things change, yes it's true
Maybe you should reconsider all of your thoughts
In this time of a political drought
Freedom of speech and free education
This society needs a change, why you waitin'
So go and place your vote today
You can change whatever you want in the USA

this an aight drop
nothin rewally special about it
aight flow and good structure
overall 6/10

Original topic, but the rhymes could be better, use some internal rhymes. I think it needs a little more thought also, because some rhymes seem forced like "This is the only way things change, yes it's true" and "So stop complaining about all the stupid wars
Voting is your duty, the new president comes in fours" But dude for real you a little late on this ,voting was like 3 months ago.

hit mine up if u can:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...09#post2085609

The topic's message isn't urgent, since voting is over, makes it less relevant. You had some alright ideas, but seemed like they could be reworded better. Looks like you can fill up some lines to make them more even, so the flow is improved. The vocab in the verse was ok.

decent piece of work, but it lacked .. hmm .. intrest?
the flow was "so-so" .. try to work harder at it ..
maybe add some more interesting dialog, or vocabulary.
keep doin you

The elite theory says that the electorals do not have to vote what the majority says... that’s why I dropped poli sci - it broke my heart that we are only a conditional democracy. And I only vote when I have researched all platforms. Voting blind can be deadly too! But I love this read... what makes me so mad is a felony that most people catch before 21 ruins your entire life. There is a law now that if it is non violent and you haven’t been arrested since in 10 years it can be erased. Get your voting privelages and the rite to have a passport and travel back for real!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by A Disciple

The elite theory says that the electorals do not have to vote what the majority says... that’s why I dropped poli sci - it broke my heart that we are only a conditional democracy. And I only vote when I have researched all platforms. Voting blind can be deadly too! But I love this read... what makes me so mad is a felony that most people catch before 21 ruins your entire life. There is a law now that if it is non violent and you haven’t been arrested since in 10 years it can be erased. Get your voting privelages and the rite to have a passport and travel back for real!

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we are not a democracy and we never have been one. . . we are a republic

Well shit... that's a new term used since I was in school... but same concept applies. Our electoral votes don't have to be the popular one.

The topic feels more urgent than your language. I wanted more from such a touched on subject. I’m also not of the political notion that voting changes things the way people think - so I have a bit of a disagreement with your piece as I’m reading it as well. As a person who’s voted for the losing teams in my lifetime many times I find myself reading this and just feeling like there’s more that should be said when I get to the end of it. It felt short and more like an advertisement to vote from a soldiers confused son than an actual deep dive or true analysis on our government. You can rhyme. You can form coherent sentences. Our opinions just don’t align and I could tell by the short amount you wrote that they don’t…I want to appreciate your opinion more and wish I had more to read from so that I could have - but this didn’t excite me or sweep me off my feet in a way that made me say “maybe he’s right.” Which is what it felt like you were trying to do. You feel frustrated with disrespect for our country in your writing, I’ll give you that. But it feels more surface level than anything and I think you can dig deeper. Much love for the drop. Keep writing.