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Thread: Martyr Art (Extended)

  1. #1

    Martyr Art (Extended)

    between the ambiance
    of melancholy and double bass
    guerrilla symphony-
    this suit of blooming dynamite
    with fusing cuffs
    -wears like an Armani tux.

    he painted his easel
    beneath a peace of shrapnel.

    croshea a civil signature:
    embroidered in braille
    fashioned entropy-
    by the threaded hairpin;
    he spits the quills to dot the eyes-

    and watch the kill.

    with a stroke of grenade
    -he's to be displayed
    against the age of reason,
    below the cranial splinter of amputee
    and misinterpretation.

    it was called his magnum opus-
    below the sprawling shrapnel and teflon gulps.

    he spit his blood on the walls,
    and framed the gravestone in bullet holes
    for all.
    the shells powder canvas;
    reigning down beneath a cloud of mag clips
    and falling rounds-

    this is lust.

    this is the day he holds his heart-
    and the artist is left red handed
    in the capillaries of black mondays
    self-expression:
    paint and blood strokes close-
    holding his breath against a question mark.

    tourniquet highways
    for the guerilla to spill his oil-
    abstract with paint filled gauze
    and starter flame
    he illustrates turmoil.

    he's to follow his heart-

    choking on the murmurs,
    he creates serrated canvas and disorder
    -under grenade hearts,
    their signature carved:

    martyr art.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    as i did read the befor epiece this is still a good read...it was a nice and explendid verse with the extension it made it even more wonderful and just even mor epolished i think thi spiece is wonderful and shall always be remembered...ya know it was cleana dn was straight to the point aswell as it being sorta abstract, as well as down to earth this just showed your growth and stability in PS showing why you rank among with high praise.....

    this is lust.

    this is the day he holds his heart-
    and the artist is left red handed
    in the capillaries of black mondays
    self-expression:
    paint and blood strokes close-
    holding his breath against a question mark.

    tourniquet highways
    for the guerilla to spill his oil-
    abstract with paint filled gauze
    and starter flame
    he illustrates turmoil.

    he's to follow his heart-

    choking on the murmurs,
    he creates serrated canvas and disorder
    -under grenade hearts,
    their signature carved:

    martyr art.
    ^^
    loved this whole part as it grasped to be the climax to me with such a nice ending...really a nice piece atti. i enjoyed it.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ll-331701.html
    ^^
    body language please for 300
    Last edited by Spoken; April 2nd, 2007 at 05:29 PM
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  3. #3
    Conquering Lion Prince Escobar's Avatar
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    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    Wow man, this piece was beautifully sculpted.

    I really admire your lush imagery and abstract style. The opening stanza really set the tone for the entire piece, and i was impressed with how you were able to portray the juxtaposition of art and blood, representing art through wounds and anatomical descriptions. The words you chose showed that the intent was to make the reader think, it is engaging as a read and yet a challenge of sorts as well because you peppered it with so many double meanings and used extensive vocab. Overall i think the effect worked well hand in hand with the abstract nature of the poem. One last thing, this part really stood out to me as an example of the more endearing qualities of this poem 'abstract with paint filled gauze
    and starter flame
    he illustrates turmoil.'
    Nicely done man, i'd appreciate if you checked my piece and gave me some feedback as well, 1luv.
    Laying face down in the mainstream.
    Po.Ethics.

  4. #4
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    wow man, this piece REALLY did it for me. your story was immaculate, it was so clear.....I nearly cried at the imagery in this, it made me jealous...i could never write something with such vivid description. This piece was fucking awesome man, and I know I'm always saying that about your poems and OMs, but this piece really hit home. The way you portrayed art in this was original to say the least, and very well thought of, you're a fucking genius dude, or a philosopher or some shit lol. This poem really made me think, which I believe you intended, although most of your poems are thought provoking anyway. I loved the metaphors in here. The way you compared art and war was really awesome, I just hope that I could some day write something this beautiful lol. Dope as fuck dude, for real. This is getting nominated if it hasn't been already. Props dude, holla!

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  5. #5

    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    thanks for the love.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  6. #6
    Whatever, Fuck You HighEngineChief's Avatar
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    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    This was beautiful. The metaphores and imagery were so vivid, so clear, i was in that poem the whole fucking time. The opening was amazing, bomb as fuck it caught my eye immidiatly with....
    this suit of blooming dynamite
    with fusing cuffs
    -wears like an Armani tux
    .
    Damn that was dope beneath all that imagery, the way each abstract stanza was closed it left you clinging on for more. This was dope as fuck, definatly HoF shit for real.

    RTF on Cliff Hanger

  7. #7

    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    returned.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  8. #8
     
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    Re: Martyr Art (Extended)

    Wow.. this was amazing.. Your wording is brilliant and makes the imagery stand out more.. the armani tux line was just insane.. this piece was one of the best I read in a while.. from the begginning I knew that this was going to be a great piece and you stayed consistent throughout it.. can't wait to read more from you.. peace

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ss-333407.html

    And if you get a chance please drop feed on my latest PS

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