Niggas

[143]

Niggas are scared.....

Yes I'm serious with my derogatory reference

Niggas are scared.....

Like passion lies in the count of likers on a facebook page
Encouraging thot rage as if is the gun that killed Kennedy

Lacking the ability to survive someone's civility and create ratched comments
Vomiting up twerk videos and rants that you all are not relevant....disliking post counts.....

So these niggas are scared

Scared that death is not an attainable outcome to challenges laden by the stupid
Burning flesh like pork skins running for cover as reality sets in
Later learning that death does accept your application and ignorance
But now you weren't a bitch nigga....

And I know why these niggas are scared

Being a person of validity carries time and stress to process the being that you harbor in your soul and these fathomless aspects never claim ending but levels that graduate the temperatures forging the production of success and prominence, a dominate thing that scared niggas run from.....

And yes...

These niggas ran scared....

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8573168

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8573176

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION 143,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[Ntalek.]

wow. no reponses yet. this to is a deep piece and i liked how you kept it relevent to the times and this social world...i thought you would've addressed the influence blacks have on other cultures but i'm kinda glad you didn't...this was straight to the point with good wording....impactful...short and sweet yet hard and strong...no homo...some of these niggas need to here this..and i appreciated reading it and for that you get a two thumbs up from me...nice write and great read...hope to see more.

[HighEngineChief]

This was a dope read. The whole spoken word vibe really drew me in, and the language was especially spectacular. I would actually like to see this performed and maybe expanded, but thats just me thinking out loud. I really love this piece, it has a brutal honesty to it. My only critique is a missing pronoun in the Kennedy stanza, other than that, this was a great piece of work. Thanks for the read, i look forward to the next one

[Fatrick Swayze]

I thought this was a joke at first. But as I read along this was vibing all through out
It had a very poetry slam on stage type of feel to it. You created a great atmosphere
With your diction as well as that dope vibe pertruding from this piece. Felt like you took
A chance with this style and pulled it off nicely. Tbh this is completely different from
Anything you've dropped.loved it.

[Emily]

The underlining power that surges through the current of this poem is spectacular.
Words that are modern/social media and the like, suddenly take place in an air of sophistication.
There’s a push/pull element to it which draws me in like a sucker.
This is up there for me 143, based on its unique value, based on the msg, based on a flow that’s silver lined, on vocab,
and based on an atmosphere that is dense from top to toe.

“…Scared that death is not an attainable outcome to challenges laden by the stupid
Burning flesh like pork skins running for cover as reality sets in
Later learning that death does accept your application and ignorance
But now you weren't a bitch nigga....”

I love that whole stanza. All of it. But that last line just tinkers with the guts of the piece.
To me, it’s like you’ve taken the blade and started hacking, gaining ground.

“…And I know why these niggas are scared

Being a person of validity carries time and stress to process the being that you harbor in your soul and these fathomless aspects never claim ending but levels that graduate the temperatures forging the production of success and prominence, a dominate thing that scared niggas run from.....

And yes...


These niggas ran scared....”

That outro… answers questions, but more importantly, forces the reader to ask new questions, which keeps us thinking about the story. I like the drive through this poem. It’s scenic and educational and smooth. But the air it carries, especially in those repetitive bits is beautiful.
What I like about your writing 143 is that you walk a tight rope. And you balance so well.
There’s always something unexpected to look forward to.
You’re never conventional. You don’t conform. And even when your words are laying in a gutter, something about them screams ‘class’.


Another quality piece 143.

Thank you for this.


(Thank you for feeding my piece, always appreciated)