@Boyznblack
12Lines
Due by 5pm (est) today
((^Which is in less than four hrs from now))
Make sure u got ur two vote linx
G'luck bro
- - - Updated - - -
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Klass
Boyznblack
@Boyznblack
12Lines
Due by 5pm (est) today
((^Which is in less than four hrs from now))
Make sure u got ur two vote linx
G'luck bro
- - - Updated - - -
Check
chin check
Bitch, u be spreadin rumors of me losin, so I had to put that Noise To End
His career's at the 'End Of The Road'- Grown man bars'll turn Boyz II Men
Quit usin unnecessary multis in ur verse, it actually supplies Less Pressure
Extend ur bars 'round me & be the 1st person placed on a Stretched Stretcher
Treat u like a Derrick Rose trade- In the Knick of time, put an end to ur Bull Shit
Congrats on gettin passed a Middle Finger, but you'll die from my Whole Fist!
Wanna war?- I'm tryin to be Proactive when I Blast Lead
This win'll be so Clean & Clear, once these tools pop Blackhead
I would dissect ur bars, but they all trash, so Whats The Reason
Beat me?- U must got more Pipe Dreams than Plumbers Sleepin
BnB aint a threat man, so like Nike sweatbands- Get ur Head Checked
This Fag got so much Pride to be colorful, he even writes his multis in Red Text
LMFAOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Where they do that at???!!!
_______________
(Here's a link to his battle wit Middle Fingers, where he wrote his stretched ass bars wit his multis in red text)...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...OPEN-FOR-VOTES
this aint even Tryin' or effort...noticed you're 4-4, figure i'd get sly with the method/
after this, u can claim u caught a gun charge.... cause you'll have a four-five on your record...
pull that weapon clean, if that magnum bust, that smith & wesson'll leave em pressed & steamed/
and have the bitch dropping outta klass.... quicker than a pregnant teen
hold up, we need a retraction here, u must be on crack & beer to think you and boyz are on the same track & tier/
bitch u aint a fraction near...C'MON, u lost to BOSTON!!!... a fuckin massive eared, satin sheered blouse-wearing latin queer
wait, u lost to smog & OG too???, u got the right body type for these ditches/
just call it quits.. i WOULD say "cut your losses" but then half this fuckin' site would need stitches
when it's reppin' time, i could feed 'em lead or let the tech wreck his neck & Spine/
lunch lady style.......i keep them treys ( trays) filled, ... that are guaranteed to make Klass get in line
lets scrap this quick, they all bet money you'd get K.O'd soon as this match exist
meaning all papers down when his bell gets rung..faggot, thats KLASS DISMISSED!!
Bitch, u be spreadin rumors of me losin, so I had to put that Noise To End
His career's at the 'End Of The Road'- Grown man bars'll turn Boyz II Men
Decent concept but I see this happen a lot. Obviously you have associated some keywords with the punch, but you didn't incorporate a completely solid punch with them keywords. It's just like you're mentioning keywords instead of formulating punches from them. The part that throws this off is "grown man bars" because in the second sense it has nothing to do with your keywords (end of the road/boyz to men) If that all would have been relevant to each other, this would have been a solid punchline. In conclusion, you get some credit for a decent concept, but lose some for poor execution. 6/10
Quit usin unnecessary multis in ur verse, it actually supplies Less Pressure
Extend ur bars 'round me & be the 1st person placed on a Stretched Stretcher
eh, I'm just not feeling the concept here at all. I think the set up line was headed to something nice, but you took the wrong angle with the stretched stretcher. 4/10
Treat u like a Derrick Rose trade- In the Knick of time, put an end to ur Bull Shit
Congrats on gettin passed a Middle Finger, but you'll die from my Whole Fist!
Once again, I'm not feeling this concept. "passed a middle finger" just seems awkward.
I think with a couple of small tweaks, maybe the set up line could have been better for a punchline. 4/10
Wanna war?- I'm tryin to be Proactive when I Blast Lead
This win'll be so Clean & Clear, once these tools pop Blackhead
Firstly, this was very predictable. I knew where this was headed as soon as I read "proactive".
Another thing is this is ambiguous, and is grammatically incorrect so it's a reach. Referring to his name it would be "Black's: (apostrophe - s) It doesn't make sense the way you have it and just proves to be forced. Another thing is that we typically don't use "tools" to pop blackheads. Also, if you shoot somebody in the head, it definitely won't be "clean and clear". You need to be sure your bars make perfect sense, otherwise they are forced or just plain fails. And overall, I just am not feeling the whole gun talk in a text battle or the whole Proactive play. 3/10
I would dissect ur bars, but they all trash, so Whats The Reason
Beat me?- U must got more Pipe Dreams than Plumbers Sleepin
nah. this is very simple. No complexity in this. If you would have taken the concept and did some clever things with it, it may have worked out. 5/10
BnB aint a threat man, so like Nike sweatbands- Get ur Head Checked
This Fag got so much Pride to be colorful, he even writes his multis in Red Text
nah, this bar didn't hit. And i really don;t see nothing wrong with writing multi's in red text. Shit, go to some other battle forums and it is accustom to type multi's in all caps. But, once again, the set up line serves better for a punchline than the actual punchline here. 4/10
LMFAOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Where they do that at???!!!
Originality is better than what everybody else is doing.
26/60
vs
this aint even Tryin' or effort...noticed you're 4-4, figure i'd get sly with the method/
after this, u can claim u caught a gun charge.... cause you'll have a four-five on your record...
hmm, nice. I like it. Great concept and personal and execution. 9/10
pull that weapon clean, if that magnum bust, that smith & wesson'll leave em pressed & steamed/
and have the bitch dropping outta klass.... quicker than a pregnant teen
Not feeling this bar. Firstly, I don't get down with the gun talk in a battle if it's used to talk about shooting somebody and not metaphorically. Also, "droppin outta Klass" doesn't make sense in the literal form how it is worded. Also, the whole concept fell off. 3/10
hold up, we need a retraction here, u must be on crack & beer to think you and boyz are on the same track & tier/
bitch u aint a fraction near...C'MON, u lost to BOSTON!!!... a fuckin massive eared, satin sheered blouse-wearing latin queer
Nice multi's. I'll give ya 3 points for those off rip. Humor gets 2 points. A personal I'll give a point for. But you'll lose a point for structure since this bar is so stretched and although you used a personal by referencing his loss to Boston, you ended this with attacking Boston more than your opponent so you lose 2 points for losing direction. 3/10
wait, u lost to smog & OG too???, u got the right body type for these ditches/
just call it quits.. i WOULD say "cut your losses" but then half this fuckin' site would need stitches
Nice concept and decent execution. The punchline bar is a tad bit stretched but we can live with it. Nice set up line too. 8/10
when it's reppin' time, i could feed 'em lead or let the tech wreck his neck & Spine/
lunch lady style.......i keep them treys ( trays) filled, ... that are guaranteed to make Klass get in line
Nice punchline, set up line was way off tho. 6/10
lets scrap this quick, they all bet money you'd get K.O'd soon as this match exist
meaning all papers down when his bell gets rung..faggot, thats KLASS DISMISSED!!
ehh, this just seems awkward. I think it fell off. It just doesn't seem to be connecting to me. It is worded weird. 5/10
Klass - 26/60 - 43.3% out of 100% of possible points
BnB - 34/60 - 56.6% out of 100% of possible points
BnB got this with better concepts and execution.
No hate to either.
It's all for the love of battling.
- - - Updated - - -
Edit in critiquing Klass's 4th bar:
Another thing is this is *NOT ambiguous,
Bitch, u be spreadin rumors of me losin, so I had to put that Noise To End
His career's at the 'End Of The Road'- Grown man bars'll turn Boyz II Men
Quit usin unnecessary multis in ur verse, it actually supplies Less Pressure
Extend ur bars 'round me & be the 1st person placed on a Stretched Stretcher
Treat u like a Derrick Rose trade- In the Knick of time, put an end to ur Bull Shit
Congrats on gettin passed a Middle Finger, but you'll die from my Whole Fist!
vs
this aint even Tryin' or effort...noticed you're 4-4, figure i'd get sly with the method/
after this, u can claim u caught a gun charge.... cause you'll have a four-five on your record...
pull that weapon clean, if that magnum bust, that smith & wesson'll leave em pressed & steamed/
and have the bitch dropping outta klass.... quicker than a pregnant teen
wait, u lost to smog & OG too???, u got the right body type for these ditches/
just call it quits.. i WOULD say "cut your losses" but then half this fuckin' site would need stitches
Pretty evenly matched battle, but I gotta go with Klass for harder bars and less stretched verse.
You don't need all that in one set up for a punch, fam.
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Bitch, u be spreadin rumors of me losin, so I had to put that Noise To End
His career's at the 'End Of The Road'- Grown man bars'll turn Boyz II Men
This is a miss, because if you read this grammatically then "men" doesn't make sense UNLESS you're saying "turn Boyz II Men" means he'll become gay -- that's the ONLY LOGICAL way this could be read. I see what you tried to do but it's ineffective in my opinion.
Quit usin unnecessary multis in ur verse, it actually supplies Less Pressure
Extend ur bars 'round me & be the 1st person placed on a Stretched Stretcher
Another light jab, not too bad.
Treat u like a Derrick Rose trade- In the Knick of time, put an end to ur Bull Shit
Congrats on gettin passed a Middle Finger, but you'll die from my Whole Fist!
This is sad, cause if you reversed the setup and punchline it would have been a clean hit actually. soft jab as is, though.
Wanna war?- I'm tryin to be Proactive when I Blast Lead
This win'll be so Clean & Clear, once these tools pop Blackhead
Decent hit.
I would dissect ur bars, but they all trash, so Whats The Reason
Beat me?- U must got more Pipe Dreams than Plumbers Sleepin
This is a miss. Could you imagine hearing some shit like this irl? It'd be the wackest shit ever bro
BnB aint a threat man, so like Nike sweatbands- Get ur Head Checked
This Fag got so much Pride to be colorful, he even writes his multis in Red Text
Light jab, and once again the setup hit more than the punchline lol
vs.
this aint even Tryin' or effort...noticed you're 4-4, figure i'd get sly with the method/
after this, u can claim u caught a gun charge.... cause you'll have a four-five on your record...
Strong hit, this is a pretty good opener right here.
pull that weapon clean, if that magnum bust, that smith & wesson'll leave em pressed & steamed/
and have the bitch dropping outta klass.... quicker than a pregnant teen
This is a decent hit. "the bitch" <--this is a very important part of the punch. It's a singular noun, an idea of one's feminine tendencies. a lot of these sheltered, suburban and foreign writers won't understand the semantics of that, and it'll sound nonsensical to them. So be mindful of your audience cause you might lose them on concepts like this.
hold up, we need a retraction here, u must be on crack & beer to think you and boyz are on the same track & tier/
bitch u aint a fraction near...C'MON, u lost to BOSTON!!!... a fuckin massive eared, satin sheered blouse-wearing latin queer
You dissing JB more than Klass, and it's long-winded. light jab overall.
wait, u lost to smog & OG too???, u got the right body type for these ditches/
just call it quits.. i WOULD say "cut your losses" but then half this fuckin' site would need stitches
Strong jab.
when it's reppin' time, i could feed 'em lead or let the tech wreck his neck & Spine/
lunch lady style.......i keep them treys ( trays) filled, ... that are guaranteed to make Klass get in line
Decent jab.
lets scrap this quick, they all bet money you'd get K.O'd soon as this match exist
meaning all papers down when his bell gets rung..faggot, thats KLASS DISMISSED!!
you switched POVs here, from "lets" to "you'd" to "his" to "..faggot,". this is a great concept, but it's a light jab overall. you need to watch your wording and the perspective you're writing in. make sure it's consistent
_____________
MVGT: Boyznblack
He was more consistent, and creative in his approach. Klass lacked consistency, creativity and delivery.
32/60Originally Posted by Klass
This was a nice closer not the hardest hitting but good enough 6/10this aint even Tryin' or effort...noticed you're 4-4, figure i'd get sly with the method/
after this, u can claim u caught a gun charge.... cause you'll have a four-five on your record...
This was dope cuz I originally saw his record at the time of this battle 7/10
pull that weapon clean, if that magnum bust, that smith & wesson'll leave em pressed & steamed/
and have the bitch dropping outta klass.... quicker than a pregnant teen
This was solid liked this a lot 7/10
hold up, we need a retraction here, u must be on crack & beer to think you and boyz are on the same track & tier/
bitch u aint a fraction near...C'MON, u lost to BOSTON!!!... a fuckin massive eared, satin sheered blouse-wearing latin queer
Ehhh wasn't feeling this bar much 4/10
wait, u lost to smog & OG too???, u got the right body type for these ditches/
just call it quits.. i WOULD say "cut your losses" but then half this fuckin' site would need stitches
Haha this bar was nice 6/10
when it's reppin' time, i could feed 'em lead or let the tech wreck his neck & Spine/
lunch lady style.......i keep them treys ( trays) filled, ... that are guaranteed to make Klass get in line
Another nice bar liked he multis too helped the flow 7/10
lets scrap this quick, they all bet money you'd get K.O'd soon as this match exist
meaning all papers down when his bell gets rung..faggot, thats KLASS DISMISSED!!
33/60
Very close battle....was very enjoyable
Both had some strong punches both also had some iffy lines I wasn't feeling but both verses remained pretty consistent throughout I think BnB first 2 bars hit really hard right out the gate and barely let down besides that 1 bar I just wasn't feeling at all
MVGT :boyznblack by 1
Good battle to both of you
3-1 lets get some votes
Klass
Boyz men was a cool reference im giving u this cuz everytime i hear that song it lets my true emotions i feel like i can talk about things more clearly lmfao. Blackhead cool nameplay direct hit.closer personal was ok take it as a true statement and little added humor.
Boyz
I liked the opener flip it was direct and creative i liked the cockiness to it like how you developed a personal setup into a direct n bold finish. Shit about boston was funny but i could picture that standing out more directly in a live battle it did have humor factor tho. Closer was cool.
Both were tied in quotes i felt klass was just a hair more consistent. Couple of boyz nps for example like klass pregnant teen line were played klass dismissed also.
V/Klass of 2016
boyz wins
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