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Thread: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

  1. #1
    Soule
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    "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    Man Down
    By Joe Boston and Behemoth

    Our mission was simple, to invade enemy lines,
    but we ran into an ambush, where I watched my family die.

    He was camouflaged behind the brush
    All that was on his mind was loyalty, honor and trust
    The plans him and his comrades discussed
    thought he was a failure to succeed...
    -- to see someone instantly bleed through their fatigues as soon as the bullet touched
    A life to him was very sacred
    As he heard a yell, "leave him behind he's not gonna make it!"
    Remained patient and threw the dead body weight over his shoulder
    With blood on his hand, radio dispatches his command "come in come is anyone there? Over Over! "
    He was a brave soldier, purpleheart, one of America's best
    Face full of tears fell upon his army crest, clutched on his dogtags then told him "it's time to rest"
    It's gonna be a test spreading his wife, kids and family the news
    Hopefully he can delay the information in a safe location after the bomb has been diffused
    He'd never choose the option of defeat
    run the soles off the canvas boots laced upon his feet
    The soldier elite he'd drown in a pool of bloodshed just to have water and bread to eat
    After the smoke clears will he ever meet again his poor lost soul
    Or the ones he served with just to remember an inserted finger into each bullet hole.


    I escaped with my life, but my mind never left,
    it's still there where my brothers were laid to rest.

    As my wife wraps her arms around me, I feel nothing in my chest,
    something inside keeps me as close to death as I could possibly get.
    A chill down her spine as she gazes into my eyes, fighting tears,
    you can tell she wanted to ask but the questions rightfully disappeared.
    My son runs around the corner and jumps into my cold embrace,
    able to tell my disdain, "daddy, the bad guys can't come home, okay?"
    I kiss his cheek but something feels strange, my head ain't right,
    hand him to my wife, grab my sidearm, and inspect the outside.
    I can hear them surrounding the house, "fuck! Run upstairs, quick!"
    firing my gun and changing my clip, my family's scared stiff.
    "It'll be okay, I won't lose anyone again, I'll take you all out,"
    we can hear both doors open and footsteps through the house.
    I empty my clip and grip my knife, ready to fight up close,
    when a bullet pierces my toe and another rips through my throat.
    I see my wife run for the door and my son kneeling on the floor,
    the terrorists I was shooting were police coming to their support.
    Before I die, I can hear a voice fading against my ear...
    "daddy, it'll be alright, the good guys are finally here."

    Studies estimate that 1 in every 5 military personnel returning from Iraq and Afghanistan has PTSD.


    - - - Updated - - -

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...alactic-Legacy
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...10-toy-stories
    Last edited by Soule; March 7th, 2017 at 09:35 PM

  2. #2
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    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    Damn this was fucking great feed us please
    [url]https:

  3. #3
    King Pen Notti's Avatar
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    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    woooaaaahhhhhh... wtf..... yoooooooo.....

    ...
    ....... hol on yo.... First off, I ain't even know @Joe Boston could write like that. That shit flowed bro, from start to finish w/ damn near perfection. A few stumbles in the flow and shit here and there but nothing major at all, real smooth verse, and surprisingly, off this first read, I aint find no wording issues lol.. But after that amazing open from Joe, @Behemoth came through for an amazing finish to the piece. I was so in tune wit the story, wondering what was happening next and then when the father was trippin, i was wondering if he was really trippin or what.. The suspense was on point asf. and the ending jus felt so real, i dont even kno anyone in the military but it still felt real asf to me. I love the statistic at the end as well, felt like it was a nice touch to sorta bring it home.

    Overall: Amazing work fellas, you both delivered on this and I look forward to collabin wit ya'll and growing in this field of text wit ya'll as well.

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  4. #4

    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    the was hella deep i liked the story and it was very descriptive i felt like i could picture it i liked this piece bro keep it up

  5. #5
    Super Grand Heru SELF ACTIVATE's Avatar
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    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    I once wrote a similar story about PTSD. So needless to say I was really feeling the subject matter you guys covered. I think both writers wrote verses that were honestly pretty evenly matched. I loved the tone of each piece, the atmosphere, and the imagery. Both verse were really immersive. I was able to get lost in the narrations. The emotion given to your characters transversed through text and into real life. Their backstories added a sense of identity and the weight of flesh to the fiction. Mechanically you both did a great job writing smooth and clean lines. No hiccups. No stumbles. Just words and pictures. Excellent drop.

  6. #6
    King Pen Notti's Avatar
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    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    this shit so fire a nigga had to drop in and read it again. GOOD SHIT MY BROTHAS

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  7. #7
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    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    Much love yall appreciate leave links i will leave feed to pieces if i can
    [url]https:

  8. #8

    Re: "Man Down" by Joe Boston & Behemoth

    These are some pretty good lyrics, I like how it's emotional as well as it flows really good, you should write more like these.

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