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Thread: Yellow Brick Road....

  1. #1
    Em-UhTh-Double Guh-Ah MuhThugga's Avatar
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    Yellow Brick Road....

    A town painted with despondency, decorated with pigeons
    A man filled with ‘Nam stories for whoever cared to listen
    Hopelessness stroked the throats of these estranged sirens
    Who spoke of revolt mixed in the fists of enraged squires
    Here stands a concrete jungle built over pain and poverty
    Where lone shadows remain to battle beyond a slain Honesty
    And they stare for a broken hope even their dreams never felt
    Left with a reality of a loaded Death wedged behind leather belts
    Families gather on corners boasting of achievements and laughing at
    Mourners spawning tears for an Eden trapped in a bleeding aftermath

    That stoop was their friend. Twenty thousand stairs of despair
    Downward loops forever bend into a youth who doesn’t care
    And a lone shadow stands releasing smoke forming what their wish holds
    A gentleness in the push of the pencil tip, making their yellow brick road


    I wish I could give them their yellow brick road….





    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...99#post1400299

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    very nicely done, a good, moral based drop, and even though it's not very long, it might be deserving of OM of the month... The vocabulary here was the strong point, next to the multi's and basis of the story, I thoroughly enjoyed the read... 9/10

    if you have a chance, please read mine and SMZ's collab, it's a bit long, but worth the read, plus i wanna see if my new structure is workin' :P
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128243

  3. #3
    Em-UhTh-Double Guh-Ah MuhThugga's Avatar
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    replied on rhymepaper.net

  4. #4
    Banned Dios de Hip Hop's Avatar
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    nice.
    That stoop was their friend. Twenty thousand stairs of despair
    great line. never thought of that line before. hope u drop smore
    the begining was great, it flowed all together, maybe a bit abstract
    but im sure if i wanted to i could figure it out. just wondering what
    this is ALL about. maybe im just stupid on the first read. o wells
    i will read it again.
    -and1

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