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Thread: Hiden Secret's.

  1. #1
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    Hiden Secret's.

    Hidden Secret's.
    By: Silent

    Secret's were hidden from a husband once loved.

    *Husband Come's home
    How are you doing today wife?*
    *Wife replies it was fine.
    *Husband think's to miself.
    I feel she is hidding something.*


    Through all this time together as one'..none never'the'less felt trust.
    Always feeling a swine of lie's as well past through memories of dust.
    Had hard & meaning full times together showed sorrow'then much love
    Have been blessed with feeling's as though they were a couple dove's.
    Sorry to hear the time has to come to let loose with the truth with all.
    & May god forgive thy sin's with punishment that she has to with draw.
    Great pain, grief, and many lie'swhich lead's the husband to a' death fall.
    Tears of sorrow flow down the wife's eye's as she let's go with all secrets
    Wishing she can go back as she speak's & tries to hold on & keep in.
    But the time has come to go forward, sick of bottling secret's up.
    As in the wifes' case some may say it was not the best of her luck.
    They touch, for the last time as the husband just murder's himself.
    But they know it was'nt his fault as wife was the one who was dealt.
    Many secrets have there time to come but should not be said at once.
    Whom is truthful may not have to keep them as some have a heart of trust.
    Though it was not meaning full the husband still knew insided it hurt.
    Now you can see the wife as a empty widdow with her husband under dirt.
    ...
    Secret was Wife was cheating on her husband who had lover her so much.
    Now there is no time to bring back the past as he lay to rest in lust.

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Wow....

    This Was A Very Good Peice Fam, The Topic Really Was Good. The Verse You Wrote Was Full Of Vocab & Flow, Both Were Good, Therefore Creating A Clear Image Of The Husband & Wifes Problems. The Structure Was Tight And The Wordplay Was Good.
    Good Drop Silent.
    -Pz


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    Cubix Box
    Obscure Intelligences

  4. #4
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    Thank's for the feed. & this is only my second om. I'm just trying to get more into this topical stuff. ok.
    Uppin for feed.

  5. #5
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    Hmm' Interesting Topic You Picked There, Quite Original. I Like Your Use Of Vocab And Wordplay, I'm Quite Suprised This Is Only Your Second Open Mic As I Thought It Was Better Than Most Piece's Ive Read From Experienced O'm Writers Who Regularly Drop In This Forum. You Kept Great Flow Through-Out This Piece. I Aslo Like The Way You Kept It Quite Short As Most Fall Off When They Drag On.

    Many secrets have there time to come but should not be said at once.
    Whom is truthful may not have to keep them as some have a heart of trust

    My Favourite Line There^ ( Dope)

    Yea Overall This Was Exceptionally Good, I Look Forward To Your Next Drop

    Well Done

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    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


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  6. #6
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    Thank's much appreciated feed back.
    Upping for me please.

  7. #7
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    Up.

  8. #8
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    Last up..

  9. #9
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    Feed back appreciated up...

  10. #10
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    your flow is awful. your content is decent.
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  11. #11
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    Ok.. Thank's.

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