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Thread: [week4] Mad Man (1-1) vs A2Z (1-1)

  1. #1
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    [week4] Mad Man (1-1) vs A2Z (1-1)

    Topic: I Coalesce a new being

    due date: saturday
    judging ends: monday

    get to me if you have problems...
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  2. #2
    I'm Back Motherfucker A2Z's Avatar
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    So We Meet Again Mad Man

    In..

    ..PS..What Does Coalesce Mean?
    <center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>

  3. #3
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    co·a·lesce __ (_P_)__Pronunciation Key
    intr.v. co·a·lesced, co·a·lesc·ing, co·a·lesc·es

    1. To grow together; fuse.
    2. To come together so as to form one whole; unite: The rebel units coalesced into one army to fight the invaders
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  4. #4
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    The night was still young, and it wouldn't end, by far
    Bad date, I felt the hate, so I decided to head to JJ's bar
    Parked my car, far away, so they wouldn't ask for my keys
    Entered and said "Could I get a shot of Bacardi 151 please?
    Downed One shot, two shots, three shots, four
    Payed the tab, left a tip, and headed for the door
    I was disoriented, fuck, I let the door hit me on the way past
    Collapsed on the sidewalk, puked, and said "Boy, that was a blast"
    I grabbed, for my keys, as I stumbled headfirst into my car
    started her up, looked both ways, and thought "Damn this'll be hard"
    Driving drunk was never a big thing, it always came to me as an art
    I pulled out as slowly as I could, and made sure I ran into nothing parked
    I didn't get far, light turned red so quick, no reaction, nothing I could do
    Head on collision, I knew right then and there, that I was fuckin screwed
    A bad concussion, internalized bleeding, they carted me off from the scene
    Took a look at my wallet and ID, and quickly noticed that I was an OD (Organ Donor)
    It just so happened that the paramedics daughter, had nearly been killed the night before
    The exact same situation I was in, drunk driver ran a red light, and collided with her driver side door
    She needed an organ, to save her life, and the paramedic found it fitting
    A DUI, to save his daughter's DUI, but I found it side splitting
    They took the scenic route, making sure that they saw the flatline
    But how fitting that to take my organs, they made it just in time
    I died, and my organs were then transplanted to the paramedics kid
    And all because I got drunk, and the driving that I did
    I lost my life that very night, in an episode of binge drinking
    But through that very act I did, I coalesced a new being
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  5. #5
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  6. #6
    I'm Back Motherfucker A2Z's Avatar
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    OK im dropping right now...got back from my cousin's state championship game...we lost ...gonna take a shower then drop...im gonna use the word coalesce to mean 'make' or 'create'...
    <center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>

  7. #7
    I'm Back Motherfucker A2Z's Avatar
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    Living Room, Trailer Park, Sitting, Talking With My Girl
    We Were All Alone, She Was Willing To Give The World
    'I Love You More Then Anything', She Batted Her Pretty Eyes
    She Began To Kiss Me Gently, Crotch Began To Rise
    Hands Began To Wander, Creep Under Cotton Cloth
    I Tried To Get Under, She Gently Pushed Them Off
    'Come With Me' She Begged, I Followed The Trail She Lead
    Into Another Room, A Place Seen Only In My Head
    We Crept Into The Bedroom...Undeniable The Lust
    We Made Beautiful Love...And Made A Kid For Both Of Us

    Next Month, She Came Over, Her Voice Stunned Dumb
    She Wept And Explained To Me, Her Period Had Not Come
    'This Cant Be Happening'..I Took Her Arm To Sooth
    I Said 'It Dosent Always Turn Out Bad, Ill Always Stay With You'
    Her Eyes Glistened With Tears, More Relief Then Love
    'Yes' She Agreed 'No More Me And You...Just Us'
    Three Months Passed, Her Stomach Began To Fill In
    And In Between Working, I Tended To Her Every Whim
    Till One Day I Came Home, I Thought It Was A Joke
    Two Months Premature, Her Water Has Just Broke

    At The Hospital Now...Awaiting The Child And My Future Wife
    Pride Is Laced With Bitter Hate..We Have Coalesced A Life
    Pacing In Agony Waiting For News With Baited Breath
    About The News Of My Girl A Son..About Their Life Or Death
    Birth Was Too Premature...Child Had 50% Chance Of Life
    And It Looks Like My Future May Not Have My Future Wife
    Out Of Spite, I Cry...Praying To God Dont Let This Pass
    Give Me A Chance...I Kick The World's Best Dad In The Ass
    At First I Thought They Were Doctors...Suddenly I Knew
    I Turned Around To Run...Surrounded By Boys In Blue

    Cops Have Me Cuffed, This Birth Should Have Been A Dream
    If Only I Wasn't Her Uncle...And If Only She Wasn't Fourteen
    <center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>

  8. #8
    Still 'Da Illest MadMan's Avatar
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    Uppin
    - MadMan -

    Former Administrator's: Yes, We're That Much Better


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  9. #9
    I'm Back Motherfucker A2Z's Avatar
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    Holy Shit This Is So Up
    <center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>

  10. #10
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    wow this was two carzy out looks and had some wierd switches...Finding that no one bothered to judge this i will give my effort...

    Mad man...you came nice with alot of word play..Not too complex but simple to the point of a nice easy read..i loved the switch up on the perimedics and it kinda made me wonder...Could this really happen?..over all nice piece...

    a2z....you had a nice verse as well i think your piece had really nice flow along with structure....wow the piece was something sad and instantly at the last two lines became sick and disgusting..i loved it..hahha you sick sick man

    vote=a2z
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  11. #11
    -.'real.- Sureal's Avatar
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    Im Going To Have To Agree With Deacon, I Read Mad Mans
    And Was Greatly Impressed, Then Just A2Z's Story , And
    Especially The Closer Seals The Victory For Him, I Totally
    Did Not See That Coming.

    vote -a2z
    .WP.
    .. It' Still Perfect..

  12. #12
    Akira Son Bio
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    Vote = Ass

    First off, why did ya'll have to use Coalesce instead of Create or Make? Ya'll could of just went straight to the point but using a basic word, but no, ya'll had to use big words, lol. Anyway, pretty good battle. Mad Man, your verse was good. Descriptive, and stayed on topic, but it had the same concept as John Q. Other than that, good verse. Ass, your verse was pretty good as well. Descriptive, and had the reader focused from start to finish. The ending was sick as fuck though, yet funny as hell. Easy enough to say it caught me off gaurd. Good battle, but Ass gets my vote for bringing a better story, and being a little more descriptive.

  13. #13
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    SORRY..i like using phrases instead of one worded topics..

    1--
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  14. #14
    I'm Back Motherfucker A2Z's Avatar
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    thanx for thwe votes...and akiro...its A-to-z....not ass
    <center>[size=6I'm Back..Did Ya Miss Me?[/size]</center>

  15. #15
    ......................... bribeone's Avatar
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    ok here we go both very damn good storys...
    both were so hard to seperate I just went
    with personal favorite here....But props to both for
    this 10/10 for both......

    -Vote.Mad Man
    Bribeone
    Artificial Intelligence

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