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Thread: In My Block

  1. #1
    C rocka
    Guest

    In My Block

    In my block,niggaz shootin each other for money
    rich kids be laughing but this shit aint funny
    I can't even walk down my block,i have to role with a glock
    incase a nigga wants to go shot-for-shot
    I see kids smoking weed and dope/
    Lifes shattered,giving up all hope
    everybody's down for the blue and red
    it don't matta if you wearin the opposite color you gettin shot in da head
    niggaz out to get me,but i aint going out like that
    just call me ja rule because i will clap back
    i see niggaz who strugglin to eat,but they rollin on bentley's
    niggaz suckin uda niggaz dicks,just for that cheese
    poor kids with mp3's,crazy thugs and corrupted police
    bootleggers and thieves,lord help me please,let me get out in one peice


    YA DAWG CRAZY SHIT FO SHO....FEED BACK APPRECIATED


    feebacks:
    E-LUDE
    Rhymes
    Koalatee
    Last edited by C rocka; December 4th, 2003 at 05:59 PM

  2. #2
    E-Lude
    Guest
    i liked it . good word play and picture. flow was slightly off in some spots but other than that. good. and this topic is done a lot.but if its what u feel then by all means write it.

  3. #3
    C rocka
    Guest
    fo sho dawg i don't really takl up in open mics so i don't know whats going on...but i'm looking for feed-back

  4. #4
    Banned
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Mifflinburg, PA
    Posts
    6,693
    Battle Record
    12-1
    You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback on or this will get deleted...

    But yeah this was pretty good...your structure was alright, try to keep your lines around the same lenght though to make it structured good cause you had some shorter lines, but it was still good....your flow in this was good as well i thought, it was off at points like said before me....Vocab in this was pretty decent i though....you had some good wordplay in this....overall this was pretty good...keep at it.

  5. #5
    C rocka
    Guest
    thanx dawg..............ya i'll leave 3 links of who i gave feedback too...........

  6. #6
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    N.E.England
    Posts
    8,020
    Battle Record
    34-10
    Awards OM WOTM SS HOF SS HW Champion OM HOF 25+ Wins
    i liked this sounded like you was talking for real...some ok voacb and not a bad was to structure the piece..all in all not bad.....jus keep at it man......pZ...nice
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  7. #7
    C rocka
    Guest
    thanx for the support and feedback...i appreciate this

  8. #8
    C rocka
    Guest
    feedback...............YO IF ANYONE WANTS TO MAKE A SONG WITH ME PM ME

  9. #9
    Rhymes
    Guest
    yo this crazy...nice flow you got its kool how you got the every little detail in...i mostly liked the ending was great...


    peace

  10. #10
    C rocka
    Guest
    thanx for the feeback dawg appreciate it..........good lookin yall!!!!...

  11. #11
    KeyStyle
    Guest
    Dope........ Im Feelin' The Realness U Came With.... Nigga Went Str8 To The Point & Had A Nice Flow.... Holla At Me For A Collab or Suttin' Mayne........ 1.......

  12. #12
    C rocka
    Guest
    aiight dawg i will fo sho...i'll holla at ya wen i see u online...shit i'll be on this all night!

  13. #13
    C rocka
    Guest
    lookin for feedback yalll

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