War Dance

[Marek]

The luster of blood just seems to sparkle
in the twilight's eerie calm. The vacant stare
defines its own brutality,
desensitized to all it would have seen.
The twilight's eerie calm continues on,
a fire adds its flicker to the man,
the morning chill intensifies the dawn
and colder still: the thought of metal's gleam.
The vacant stare is all that's left of me:
The glint of steel excites the inner fire,
yet cannot seem to reach the face or limbs:
The stone without is all that may be seen.
Anticipation dances in the fire
as the time for action closes every step
Fear dances with it till the time to stand
takes everything but instinct from the dream.

[Thrust]

i don't think i've ever read anything of yours...but i'm glad i read this for a couple reasons

i liked the topic to your piece and the way you took a stab at it was creative
i think you proved yourself a good poet with this piece here

i'd like you to consider trying out for po' ethics...it's the only all poetry crew here on RB and i think we could use you

again..nice piece...and keep them coming

[Moniker]

Great piece Marek. Imagery was very dark and well described. The word choice was good but could have been better on a few lines perhaps. but the vocab was still above average. emotion was strong in a background sort of way, if that makes sence. which was the aspect that amazed me most on this. length was perfect, good read.

Like Kerr said, you are always welcome at poethics.

[Marek]

Thanx.
Up.

[shawty"B"]

i liked this peice Marek. Its an interesting topic, and the way that you have written this poem, is a different but very fictive. Not too much i can say. good jobe

...........fav part..........

The vacant stare is all that's left of me:
The glint of steel excites the inner fire,


keep droppin


....bless

[Foreshadow]

Damn merek this was a great poem I was feeling everything down to the period lol. You did a nice job with it everything is hard to explain because you did a great job with this piece.