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Thread: Progression Vs. Ambition

  1. #1
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Progression Vs. Ambition

    Bold:The voice of time

    This 8 hour routine enslavement, convinced I'm the labourer
    in clinched, flirting with destiny, but the goal is taming her
    Being she's a wench, rich for nothing but the art of setbacks
    brandishing her gallery, I'm ensnared in class of pest traps
    Prepared for anything, schooled in the outcome of pendant swings
    revising the rhythm of ripple effects, right til the end of rings
    Down to a T, reassured my own self that occasions are evitable
    fate is determined readable, so all clock face's are legible
    |
    And so you believe, naive spirit, for I am chance's guardian
    I aren't bewildered by you margin men, let alone charming them
    I've witnessed many lifetimes perish as if t'was in an instant
    nobody can fool my gaze, I perceive verve, cunning and wisdom
    My hands craft and mold your livelyhood, and daily designs
    I command your palette of thoughts from hours, days to lifelines
    Frolic with the pendulum all you will, remember I set it trends
    am I to commend your correction then? I take it- time depends

    |
    I will not be bamboozled by Roman numerals, cease the mind games
    what's stopping this picture perfect from stepping right out the timeframe?
    Hassling me, trying to force evolution by bellowing farce chimes?
    the tables have indeed turned, 'time to give time a hard time
    You have no idea of the transitions I may be thinking within
    or how I will begin my days, I'm afraid you have no belief system
    If I were to disregard sunsets and exist by my own boundaries
    you can't touch me! and ignorance in time- will drive anyone to insanity
    |
    Cannot get the better of me, it's not logical preempting set paths
    impostor of providence, you go dishonour the curve in quest graphs
    Ha! surpress the glare of the sun? like the conscious of a miner?
    reality is clockwork.. there's the Moon as a constant reminder
    You're not capible of overlooking such an astronomical prospect
    there's only one state efficient enough and that state is called death
    I am kismet;- therefore all you will become is my desire or plight
    til coherence with fire/ice enraptured by Felicity's guiding light

    |
    Recite nonsensical ridicule about afterlife for me to averse to
    see if I care, I can mark time for ages, patience is a virtue
    I mean who am I even talking to? a figment that's probably lying
    I've always had loving parents- I don't believe in Quality time
    |
    Don't get ahead of yourself, but you'll never get ahead of me
    I am the reason, t'was my commodity that blot out your pedigree
    Centuries and aeons, nothing reinstates the plateu I appear on
    able to orchestrate real Gods the first time that fear dawned

    |
    You even get personal with me! and expect me to be harmed and cry
    I'm sick and tired, so counting sheep is how I pass the time
    Sound goodbye's, and you can judge which swan can sing the best
    close my eyes, take my watch off and count backwards in my head
    And then we'll see who exists.....

    Everybody, everyday does something to kill time, and you know it


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=202187
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=201894

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  2. #2
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    I really liked this. You have such a good mind for the conceptual and the abstract. I really liked this concept. At first I was a bit wierded out, and it seemed a bit vague, but I get what you were driving at now. Good stuff from you. Nice to see you proactive in your writing as well.
    ...

  3. #3
    Cool, another dope piece N-Demik. You thrive on complexity
    and once again you brought it. You get that feeling of, when you start reading,
    you dont quite know what's going on. But you slowly bring
    the reader back into the story nearing the end. Your concept was
    nice because you craeted a drama between time, and a random
    guy, when there isn't a drama to watch. But you picked up on
    the small things and just expanded it, making it into a piece.
    Which IMO is cool as fuck. Something that is kinda boring is
    made into something that keeps a readers attention. Mint!

    You're not capible of overlooking such an astronomical prospect
    there's only one state efficient enough and that state is called death
    I am kismet;- therefore all you will become is my desire or plight
    til coherence with fire/ice enraptured by Felicity's guiding light
    I think it was just the wording that made me like this.
    Props on the piece. Nice work.

    Make sure you hit the link below please-
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=202598
    Thanks.
    A berift bewteen bewildered siblings,
    along side me, came material things.
    Intrude this choice,
    & spare the moment you lose your voice.

    -SQ.

  4. #4
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    woa, big words "ALL TORQUE"...

    my feed: Hell ya this was real nice... super rhymes and multies.. they were incredible and they fit and nuthin was random.. great flow and structure and i enjoyed reading this peice a lot... this was dope bro... keep it up.. (your real good).. GREAT JOB.. have a good day

    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=202923
    return the favor^(open mic drop)
    Last edited by EyeBite; June 18th, 2005 at 10:16 AM

  5. #5
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Thanks for the reads....word, I was just clearing my mind out of topics and trying to get back into the motion of writing.

    And I'll check out that link soon Simmons.

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  6. #6
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Werd yo...

    That shit hit me when I was pimpin Miss Poppins

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  7. #7
    Hey could you check out that link Dem'
    Be much appreciated.

    -sq
    A berift bewteen bewildered siblings,
    along side me, came material things.
    Intrude this choice,
    & spare the moment you lose your voice.

    -SQ.

  8. #8
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Favour returned SQ...soz it was so long.

    and UP!

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  9. #9

  10. #10
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Done :P

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  11. #11
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    Lol, Time Time Time. I liked this Dem. Yes, be amazed, I’m actually responding. Flow was beautiful. I’ve noticed there’s a few “Vs.” idea’s going around, and well, this just makes it show that even though a bunch of them, the diamond still is pretty in the rough. Your wordplay, while subtle and nonchalant, is a wonderful change from regular similes, etc. Your wording, on that matter, is much the same. Beautifully compounded, and placed. Ability to stretch a topic to its every reach, and never let it go to far and become boring. A true talent. Your writing is much appreciated.

    “And so you believe, naive spirit, for I am chance's guardian
    I aren't bewildered by you margin men, let alone charming them
    I've witnessed many lifetimes perish as if t'was in an instant” – I really liked that. Even though the “aren’t” stuck out a little bit odd, for you, those lines were still nice.

    “I will not be bamboozled by Roman numerals, cease the mind games”

    “what's stopping this picture perfect from stepping right out the timeframe?” – Note to my comment on wordplay, here is a prime example.

    “Recite nonsensical ridicule about afterlife for me to averse to
    see if I care, I can mark time for ages, patience is a virtue
    I mean who am I even talking to? a figment that's probably lying
    I've always had loving parents- I don't believe in Quality time” – I loved that whole tidbit, then the end gave me a little chuckle. Nice setup.

    “close my eyes, take my watch off and count backwards in my head
    And then we'll see who exists.....” – An awesome ending. Loved it.
    m
    ˈpɛr ˈse


    –noun

    by, of, for, or in itself; intrinsically.

  12. #12
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Funk you Jamie

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  13. #13
    Roll Out The Barrel N-Demik's Avatar
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    Weeeerrrd yeah


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