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Thread: .:It was you all along:. SS verse

  1. July 25th, 2005, 12:45 PM #1
    K9_THESHIT
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    .:It was you all along:. SS verse


    April 44 BC,festival of Lupercalia


    The shadows have grown..
    Tears now moan..
    ..Twenty years for whom?Rome?!
    Defending frontiers for what?A throne?An empire?
    For what goal do i roam alone thru fire?
    ..
    ..Dreams of cruel treason rot silently inside,
    Lies that fool reason will violently decide my fate,my life..
    The snakes hide,with split tongue they wait and incite outside,
    Hate will ignite, the walls of Rome shall shake tonight,
    A flood of arrows and swords shall collide with their lust for the blood of the sun..
    Screams shall awake the night,
    And in the shadows obeying hoards shall succumb the swaying ones.
    Too long they've poured venom against my reign,
    Now for their reward, they will all be slain..
    ..
    ..
    He walks to gather the preatorians,but he's stopped by a group of men.
    ..
    ..
    Show yourselfs...develish creatures that plot in the cloak of the night,
    Snakes with hellish features that choke the life of the empire..
    Your relish in my pain,
    Slain me and only embelish my fame.
    I obtained thru my campaignes all you wish to gain,
    Tens of thowsands were slain for a dream you wish to shower in shame.
    Roman blood stained the plains in Gallia,Egypt and Spain for Rome's power and fame.
    Kill me you may,
    But without me all the blood will remain in vain.
    ..
    ..
    The men show theirselfs and one by one stab him 26 times.
    ..
    ..
    My dreams shatter as tears splatter on the cold ground,
    All-mighty Saturn, i can feel the dark unfold around,
    Betrayed by every stroke of a blade,
    A cascade of crushing pain is rushing thru my veins...
    I crawl with decayed breath, betrayed by my own son,
    But i shall evade death..even if i degrade to bone under the sun..
    ..
    ..
    "Et tu,Brute?"
    "I knew the day i will be betrayed will come,but i never would've known you would plan this.It was you all along..."
    ..
    ..
    I know no death..
    The shadows are gone..
    Tears are gone..
    The only thing left...my soul in the heart of Rome.
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  2. July 25th, 2005, 01:06 PM #2
    K9_THESHIT
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    Links:

    Johnny 6 feet - It was you all along

    Issue - The only option
    Last edited by K9_THESHIT; July 25th, 2005 at 06:31 PM
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  3. July 25th, 2005, 04:01 PM #3
    Foreshadow
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    I wish it were longer I mean the story was good but it didnt feel complete to me you feel me... The imagery was real nice... The vocab was decent... The flow was good and I liked some of your multies... Stay Up...
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  4. July 25th, 2005, 04:31 PM #4
    Johnny 6-feet
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    A good re-vamp on a classic story in Roman history K9. You had some really creative structure and, as ever, some great imagery to keep me reading. Your vocab was strong, and Julius quote "and you, Brute?" captured the moment prefectly. A great verse with solid rhymes to back it up. Good work, hey, it beat mine!

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  5. July 26th, 2005, 12:33 PM #5
    K9_THESHIT
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    Thx for the feeds...
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  6. July 26th, 2005, 05:20 PM #6
    sILLable
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    very ill rendition.....it did seem toshort and somewhat uncomplete but for the most part it was very ill....very intricate and tha verse was complex...wordplay and vocab was tight.....could have been elaborated on more...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~


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  7. July 26th, 2005, 07:25 PM #7
    K9_THESHIT
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    thx...upp
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  8. July 27th, 2005, 08:50 AM #8
    K9_THESHIT
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    bump
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  9. July 27th, 2005, 11:01 AM #9
    warchild
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    I aint read a piece of yours for a while so i thought id check this out.
    It was dope the concept was original so you get props for that you always write different shit, your imagery and vocab are your strongest points and that really came through in this piece. I bet this was a hard piece to write so there wasnt loads of multies in there but i was impressed that you mixed a few into this piece so i was really impressed with this piece your starting to mix in a nice flow with your vocab and imagery your pieces are much better now cause youve worked on the flow, keep writing.

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    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=215428
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  10. July 27th, 2005, 07:12 PM #10
    K9_THESHIT
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    i'll get that link soon..thx
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  11. July 27th, 2005, 07:23 PM #11
    Haywood Jewblomi
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    I really liked this piece. The flow was very very good, which is always nice. The imagery was excellent, and it told the story well. As people have said, it could have done with being longer, but it being short didn't detract from the piece. The strong use of vocab helped make it a nice piece too. Overall it made for a very nice read. Keep up the good work.
    I'm surprised they didn't delete me ages ago...
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  12. July 28th, 2005, 02:01 PM #12
    SpItIt13045
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    nice spit

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  13. July 28th, 2005, 05:20 PM #13
    K9_THESHIT
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    ^blah


    Thx Haywood.
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  14. July 28th, 2005, 05:56 PM #14
    STAT$
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    This was really nice....good vocab....great imagery....was it a winner? Well all and all nice stuff keep it up!!!!
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  15. July 29th, 2005, 12:15 PM #15
    K9_THESHIT
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    thanks..upp
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