White Rose

[Automatic.]

White Rose
And Tomorrow Never Came..

December 11, 2002

She walked towards me, my heart slowed to a stopping beat
A girl i'd love to meet, she looked like an angel on the street
Her figure was complete, perfectness consisted all around
I made up my mind to talk to her, I wouldnt stay put with my head down
A light hello was my attempted sound, she looked my way and smiled
Before I knew it we were walking together, once again i felt like a child
All of her thoughts and interests I compiled, it went better then planned
Cuz before either of us knew it, we were walking together hand in hand
We were meant for eachother, told her I loved her and she said she loved me
And said she wanted to be my woman ..I replied "of course, but i'm in the Army"
She didnt care though, our love would withstand through all the pain and agony
White doves and never ending love is something we had both guaranteed
Its been two weeks since we met, but our relationship seems alot older
They say love is blind ..i believe its really in the eye of the beholder
"I'll see you tomarow" she said each day, knowing each day would bring joy
She loved our talks of the future, our dream houses, and our little boys
Our mariage date was set, the day i asked her will forever be stuck in my mind

...As I walked away slowly, leaving the white rose on the ground behind...

February 5th, 2003

The day of our wedding, thoughts of the future, and me, a family man
Which coincidentily falls on the same day of my departure to Afghanistan
Our struggles began, already we were having fights over stupid shit
Like whether I should go and defend my country ..but I was forced to comit
I could never quit, neither my future bride nor my future duties
A concious decision, cant just give up on my future child beauties
Deep down in my mind I knew what I had to do, I just envisioned..
..Her killing me when she heard of my drastic decision
It was nothing at all against her, I loved her with all my heart
And even though we'd be seperated by thousands of miles, we'd never be far apart
And when it was time for me to depart, we were already married in bliss
My life had changed completely when I kissed her tender lips
Told her I loved her, she told me to be safe, I said always and hugged her
As she held on tight, tried never letting me go, using kissing as a deter
I'ma leave now, girl ..ironic our best and worst day landed together
But I have to leave, and im sure a little present will be allowed for good measure
Told her I would see her soon, and no matter her pain or sorrows
Remember I will always be with you ..if you just think of tommarow
With a final kiss, I dropped the gift and felt the love from both us combined

...As I walked away slowly, leaving the white rose on the ground behind...

February 5th, 2006

Finnaly back from the war, back in town to see the woman I loved before
We kept in touch nearly everyday ...that is until about July 2004
She just stopped writing me, I never really knew why until now
Which now makes perfect sense, and the reason makes me think, wow..
I realized it was in no way either of our fault, there was really nobody to blame
Its just that, for one of us ............tomorrow never came
And as I stood teary eyed by her grave, memories came flying back to my mind
.
.
.
...As I walked away slowly, leaving the white rose on the ground behind...

[Automatic.]

Thanks for reading.

Links:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=271274
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=270455

[ryhmin for the t]

yo nice drop check out "im flying higher (revised version)

[baggz]

hey fam i really felt that. my ex girl was in the military so i relate in some way... but i loved how you used the title that was clever.

[Automatic.]

Thanks for the feed.

Rise!

[tonecrusher]

I can't see it recorded on a track, but I see it poetically read from the stage acapella, just like a verse.

We were meant for eachother, told her I loved her and she said she loved me
And said she wanted to be my woman ..I replied "of course, but i'm in the Army"

and

The day of our wedding, thoughts of the future, and me, a family man
Which coincidentily falls on the same day of my departure to Afghanistan

are the weakest lines. In a rather deep topic you shouldn't mention shit like "departure to Afganistan", y'know what I mean? It breaks the romantic sense to it, makes people go 'yiiish, fucked up here'.

The last verse, 'bout her grave and all, is the weakest verse, in relation of topic/quality. I see your dramatic approach, white roses you left behind, the whole thing...But in my opinion, the last verse could've been made a lot more touching or even shockin'. I'm not sayin' it's total whack, but it's rather close to be.

A good idea, weakly developed in the end.

But generally, not a bad job.

Keep it up.

Peace.

Krit!cal

[Automatic.]

ok cool.

upp

[Automatic.]

Rise.

[EyeBite]

this was an excellent peice....topic was interesting...layout of each verse was cool...flow and strucutre was great..smooth and even....rhymes wre good..nice multies....vocab was nice and complex...imagery was nice...excellent peice overall....keep it up..

[Phayme]

Nice peice man.

Structure was dope. I liked the way you had different days.
Very very emotional peice.
The repetion of the white rose part hit hard, Made the peice that much better.
Nice storyline too.

They say love is blind line was very dope and creative. Nice peice man.

I liked it, alot.


Please return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=3953516


Thanks for the good read.

[Automatic.]

Thanks for the feed Skribble and Phayme, ill hit up ur links in a few.

[Automatic.]

Rise

[Automatic.]

Muh' fuckers

[***Lady_Latin***]

wow...dis drop was tyte
i don't even kno where 2 bgin cuz honestly ur vocab & structure was on point
it was a topic dat nobody done in a long time which was nice cuz u added ur own twist...made it unique 2 ur style which u could tell was def there
props on puttin dis style out there
where u draw ur inspiration 4 dis from? jus curious...1
-LL

[Automatic.]

Thanks for the feed. I got the inspiration from this drop because i wanted to do right a topic about love with a little twist. Glad u enjoyed it.

Rise.