"Yellow Turned to Red Brick Road"

[Atti]

Let me walk a yellow brick
Road; A quater in each eye.
I can't see now, but I will.

When the lion's heart falls
To the limbo of his own
And he coughs blood upon
The rusting tin man...
I will be waiting for death,
As the crows fight back
And strattigise against
A thoughtless bale of hay.

So give me your two cents,
Because I miss my sight.

I miss my last glimpse
Before the black forrest
Turned ugly and swallowed
Hard against my wrists.

So please, give it to me.

Hate me now you bitch...
But give me sight
To dance the flames,
You owe me atleast that.

The giggles tickled
My feet but only for brisk jog;
So much for power
In numbers, because I
Ran short of fingers
Along that quivering stroll.

So please, spare some change...

Kansas kissed me goodnight,
And the wind packed me away
In a barbed wire duffle bag.

So please... Some change?

I-I, I just want to see again,
That's all I ever wanted.
Please, give me perception
In this ever dark world...
Give me the ability to see
This shimmering sea of yellow
Before it turned to red brick road.

Please... HURRY!

... Because hell is in the winds.
Please, let me see them come.

[Mick Morales]

this wasnt too bad the structure was what sorta what threw me off but this was str8 hAD NICE WORDING TO IT AND SOME GOOD CREATIVITY FROM IT

[Atti]

Thanks man. And just for refference... Waaaaay back when, when someone died the idea was that you put a coin over each eye as payment for hades, and in exchange for these coins he would gift you your sight in the afterlife.

[Atti]

.............

[Laureate]

umm I don't think strattigise is a word lol...I think it's strategize

But anyway, i thought this was cool and a good poem Atty, but wheres the scarecrow refernce? and toto? lol jk, I like how you incorporated a well known movie and made a poem out of it. I'm not sure if this is how you meant it, but I kind of thought of Oz as a metaphor for heaven, and the yellow brick road is either
1) the tunnel with the light at the end or
2) Life and all the hardships ebncountered to reach heaven/Oz
Lemme know if I'm wayyyy off cuz I'm interested.
I liked the run on lines with yuor line breaks, it read very well, the metas in this were well executed, overall very nice work man

[street_Rydah]

yo this aint a bad piece
stucture was off a lil ... but shit dun matter tho
it aint gots ta flow like a rap written piece
this also had sum nice metaphores cuzz'n

[envision]

"So much for power
In numbers, because I
Ran short of fingers"

"So give me your two cents,
Because I miss my sight."


^fav lines. I like the ideas and thoughts that you put into this drop.