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Thread: The Dream

  1. #1

    The Dream

    trigger me please, turn that trigger ninety degrees,
    deported oversea but dont away like lethal disease/
    spit these lyrics with ease, freeze, dead bodies, S.T.D's,
    got little people on their knees, beggin for peace/
    no reason but the war will never be ceased,
    wont let the prisoners leave, march until thier released/
    bardged in at the crease, all you hear is sirens of police,
    so many people spreading prophicies, there no democracy/
    all these people walking hand in hand, they dont understand,
    they cant contend in a world where only the fittest survive/
    thats why i wake up everynight thank god im alive,
    family made so many sacrifice, with them i probley woulda died/
    i dont like bringing up the past but i thank god for what will last,
    my happiness, how can this be happening, imma menase/
    i blemish, make a fresh start, everything is replenishes,
    take everything from in front of your face but all in good graces/
    how can a human being desacrate this, its beyond belief,
    Im the chief, without me a few people would probley be beneath/
    so i take everything with confidence from within,
    only evidence comes to sin, its not even evident/
    so may severed dead body behind, unlike saddam, they wont find me,
    start a fresh, take a breath, im like martin luther king, marxxx has a dream/

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    fairly ok verse...the rymes scheme kinda basic....the multies u used was ehh basic....could improve..kinda meh worded....emotion a tad bit...

    elevate a lil bit mo'...

    also rid the "/" we know when a bar begins an ends....

    5.5/10
    ±D.I.
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    ♪A.S. Productions♪


    I Rely On Rhymes To Keep Me In Line Like Skates
    So If Time Steps My Minds State I’ll Break It’s Face
    Fracture Its Hand Bend It Back So It Can Stop Tock Or Die
    Since I Hate Being Pressure By a Deadline When I’m Still Alive
    [/I]

    -
    (=D)

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